Dealing with Inter-religious Marriage
Boys will be boys and girls will be
girls.
It is not necessary to promote inter-religious marriage. It is
not even called for. In fact before the young marry it is every
parent's right to express their views of their wishes for their
children including the right to forbid the child from marrying a person
of a different faith. However, after the marriage is done this right
ceases and the family addition must be embraced with love (or lost if
you so choose).
The path toward intermarriage begins by the elders of all faiths
speaking to each other of politics and religion. In these conversations
we would strive to find that which is common between us.
This will reduce the fear of each other. It is better to accept each
other and tolerate each other’s ideas than to accept each other and
pretend to tolerate ideas through silence. Conversation leads to
consideration leads to understanding leads to reduction of fear.
The old of the world must
talk in order to put dogmatic exclusiveness aside. Many of the
old have progressed through the steps of life until everything they
know is doubted and the fear of doubt has been replaced by the wonder
of doubt. With wonder it is enough to know what
might be rather than what is. It is enough to trust your heart as
it understands your faith.
They understand “Tao Te Ching,
One” through its end. They understand that when they are small
enough to be gone and completely at peace (an ideal) that insistence
upon that which is cannot be spoken and reduces to belonging.
They understand, however, that within reality they begin with the named
and the ten thousand things. These old talking Brahmin are the
hope of peace.
How should we meditate? With
peace in our hearts and smallness of self.
How should we talk? With peace in
our hearts and smallness of self.
How should we consider? With
peace in our hearts and smallness of self.
How do we get small and peaceful?
Meditate and live through the steps of life.
That is all well and good but we must
now deal with the 10,000 things. The reality of our own prejudice
and the practicality of what we may gain or lose. Let's assume
all the meditation and wisdom that comes with age has made it possible
for us to overcome our prejudice. Now we must sell our children
and grandchildren. But what?
The only way a faith can die is
if no one chooses it. "Keep the faith" means "keep both
faiths".
When the young intermarry ask
that they keep both lineages. Within the love of a couple there is room
for two traditions. Show appreciation that they have not left
your faith.
To both the newlyweds and their
parents stress the point that the prize is family. Sooth egos by
pointing out the virtue of peace in our hearts and smallness of
self. Have them face the hard alternatives; do they want the joy
of family love of the emptiness of isolation?
Above all love, be patient and
persevere.