My attitudes.
 
    This is my dogma, my epitaph, what I want to give.  It is not pure.  It is not cut in stone.
    Because I believe I may be wrong about everything, this is not about what I believe.  Rather this is about how I believe I arrive at my beliefs and how I believe we all arrive at our beliefs.

How people know the truth.

    We witness our life; that is, we pay attention to our thinking and doing.  We use the left side and the right side of the brain to remember what we witness.  We witness and remember by rote and we witness and remember by considering how each specific truth is related to our past witness.
    Because we just plain can't remember everything we have to make some decisions.  We have to judge some things are true in order to function.
    We arrive at the truth in four ways.
    We guess which always contains doubt.  What you know with doubt is your best guess.  It is always the result of consideration.
    We believe what we are told without consideration.  This requires either great naiveté, absolute belief in an authority or a lack of time or willingness to consider.
    We have an epiphany establishing truth without doubt.  It may be a single event, a series of similar events, a series of events that appears directed or even years and years of ongoing meditation experience.
    We accept a truth overcoming our doubt by doubting our doubts according to the instruction of authority and our need for discipline.  This is frequently strengthened by affirming a declaration.  An affirmation simply insists that a declaration is true without doubt.  
    This also considers humanity; that is, the knowers of the truth as integral to the truth.  For clarity, “knowers of the truth” does not refer to a special group of people.  Everyone with belief is a knower of the truth.
    In all cases you either accept or you doubt.
     I witness my life.  Some things I take for granted.  Some things I think about.  Some things I ignore.  These things can be words, sensory observations, epiphanies, feelings or combinations.  My life is my witness.  
    The things I ignore I forget.  They never become part of my witness.
    The things I take for granted I call the truth.  They become part of my witness.  They are part of my attitudes.  They influence my behavior.  
    The things I think about I call my considerations.  They influence my attitudes and behaviors.  They are the source of the changes that I can choose.

Discipline, a parameter of witness

    Discipline is the boundaries of what you are willing to think about, the boundaries of the conclusions your thoughts have led you to and the boundaries of what you are willing to do.  That is; discipline is the boundaries of our considerations, attitudes and behaviors.  
    Everything you ignore, have judged to be false, will not consider or won't do is outside your discipline.  Everything else is inside your discipline.
    To better understand the word, consider arithmetic as a discipline.  If you add within the discipline you get the same answer as everyone else.  You think inside the box; that is, inside the discipline.
    Discipline is essential.  For example, after putting your finger in a gas flame once and considering the results you make the judgment not to do it again.  If you did not make that judgment you would burn yourself over and over and over again.  Your judgment has placed a boundary on your consideration (you will not consider putting your finger in the flame), your attitude (you believe you will burn yourself if you put your finger in the flame) and your behavior (you will not put your finger in the flame).
    There is not enough time to consider everything.  Your considerations are disciplined (bounded).  A very realistic example; you're running a little late, your wife calls and tells you she will not be home from work until late so that you have to buy some chips for a party that starts at eight.  You must pick up your son from soccer practice at six.  You must drop off your daughter for lacrosse practice at 5:45.  You get a call from a pollster who asks you what you think of the new mayor.  You hang up the phone without consideration.
    Your attitudes are bounded by discipline.  You do not find your beautiful sister sexually appealing.  It is the result of the boundaries of your attitudes.
    Your behaviors are bounded by discipline.  With exception, you do not break the law.  
    If you consider nothing, habitually maintain your attitudes and act only through habit you are self-disciplined.  Most of us go through periods of self-discipline.  It is temporarily comfortable not to think.  Self discipline is the boundary of our considerations.
    If you obey your boss, live within the law, believe what you read, and in general do as you are directed, then you respond to authority.  That is you are socially disciplined.  Most of us are socially disciplined most of the time.  Social discipline is the boundary our society places on our behavior.
    If you consider everything, neither accept nor deny anything, behave according to the moment and lack any fixed attitude, then you are undisciplined.   Almost all of us have our undisciplined moments.  
    If you have complete discipline you live with safety and without consideration.  If you have no discipline you live with complete freedom and danger (You would burn your finger in the gas flame over and over and over again).
    I wish to feel safe and have some freedom.  Within my discipline I can consider all things.  Within my discipline I can roam without fear.  By not considering going outside of my discipline I feel safe.  My range of action is reduced by my discipline for the sake of comfort.  My new freedom although reduced is more comfortable.  I think inside the box.  I don't think outside the box.
    But thinking is fun.  Sometimes I will choose to reconsider my discipline.  I will become momentarily undisciplined.  I will think outside the box.
    Habits anchor discipline.  Habit reduces consideration of action outside of our discipline.  If you act completely out of habit you never consider change.  Initially habits are the result of conforming to the forces and morality within our environment.
    To develop discipline form habits.  First do the deed, then do the deed again, and again, and again... until the thought of not doing the deed disappears.  After this happens you have a habit of doing the deed.
    When faced with a consideration don’t do the deed, then at the next consideration don’t do the deed, and again, and again... until the consideration of doing the deed disappears.  Now you act out of habit; that is you act without consideration. You have self-discipline.  
    If you continue a behavior long enough, it affects your feelings.  An example; you work at a food bank which makes you feel good which encourages you to work at the food bank.  You have an attitude of charity.  Your feelings discipline your attitudes.  

Class; a Hindu view, a parameter of witness, a social order

    Although religious and gov't institutions attempt to establish and maintain a peaceful order, the population remains compliant to peace predominantly because it is immersed in an unquestioned social order.
    Unlike the classical Hindu view where you cannot change the caste into which you were born, I refer to class rather than caste.  It is possible to change your class.  In the U.S. all people are born with equal rights under the law.
    The Brahmin class.  The Brahmin growing up in leisure has a chance for enlightenment.  His enlightenment gives him a sense of morality.  The most orthodox Brahmin’s behavior is self-disciplined to eliminate distraction from enlightenment.  Hence he lives in poverty, is obedient to enlightenment and exercises no authority over others.  He lives off the alms of others.  His enlightenment leads to morality.
    The ruling class.  The ruling class grows up in a socially disciplined environment of reward and punishment that does not completely overshadow freedom.  Usually their freedom is obtained by being bright enough to have leisure which leads to self will.  Society succeeds when the ruling class rules disciplined by law and Brahmin morality.   The most orthodox ruler lives in luxury but is not ostentatious, and applies his authority with ethics.
    The professional class.  The professional class grows up in a disciplined environment heavily influenced by reward due to their own competence at success.  Among their duties is the creation of ethical law.  Ethics are applied pragmatic (Brahmin) morality.  They feel successful rather than free.  The society succeeds when the professional class does the intellectual work without excessive greed.  The most orthodox professional lives in enough luxury to be motivated to continue to obey authority.
    The working class.  The working class grows up in a disciplined environment heavily influenced by punishment due to their own incompetence at success.  The society succeeds when there is enough abundance that the working class has its leisure filled with enough pleasant activity that they continue to obey the law as specified by the professional class and demanded by the ruling class and continue to work.   The most orthodox worker prefers to obey authority rather than be punished.
    The untouchable class.  The untouchable class grows up rejecting discipline.  They are free.  The society succeeds when they are contained, either in prisons, or through shunning, or by their own chosen separation from the other classes.  The most orthodox untouchable is kind enough not to hurt others.  As they are the victims of vengeance, they are the source of revolution.   As they are free they are our artists.
    Note that the untouchable class and the Brahman class can be easily mistaken for each other.  Hindu order goes full circle.
    The reality is that every person is in part within every class.  For example, I get up and look out the window.  I know it's going to rain (Brahman).  I tell my mate it looks like rain (professional).  I tell my children to wear their boots (ruler).  I pack everyone's lunch (worker).  I sneak a doughnut (untouchable).  I am loyal to my mate.  I had a little trouble when I was young but hard knocks straighten me out.
    This person might describe themselves behaviorally untouchable, morally professional and historically a worker.
    The reality is also that every person generally fits predominantly in one class.  If you are a monk, you are a Brahman.  If you manage a business with employees, you are a ruler.  If you are an architect, you are a professional.  If you work on an assembly line, you are a worker.  If you are a sole proprietor, you are untouchable.
    Class is a tool of understanding how and where you fit in the social structure.  It peacefully disseminates authority without the appearance of authority.  

How beliefs are formed.  

    If the individual considers before words remains a question.  What he considers before words remains a mystery.  How he considers before words is one of my great curiosities because I believe that curiosity is gracious (attitudes, behaviors and considerations without origins from cause are gracious).    
    Most churches propose that there are two life forces.  Each culture determines what they are called; Yin and Yang, renewable and non-renewable chi, flesh and spirit, nurture and nature, good and evil, reality and fantasy, strong force and weak force.  
    I like to call them beauty and the beast.  They are the forces that will combine, reform and re-emerge in a class of adults according to the balance between beauty and the beast.
    The beast originates (an internal force) in the will to live.  He needs to eat, drink, sleep and have sex in order to survive.  However the beast is predominantly disciplined by external force.  That is his attitudes, behaviors and considerations in attaining these needs are bounded by law and order.  The focus is on behavior.
    Beauty originates (an internal force) in grace. He needs to relate in order to survive.  Early on beauty is predominantly disciplined by external force, usually the words of family and church authority.  Later on grace disciplines as well.  Differing from the beast, the discipline focus is on attitudes (faith) rather than behaviors.  
    The development of belief follows a path through the steps of life.  Curiosity, identity, family, discovery, knowledge, wisdom, wonder are the steps of life.  Some people skip some steps.  Some people stop and stay in a specific step.

The steps of life; a parameter of witness, How beliefs are disciplined by growth.  
 
The age of curiosity

    A child is born curious.  Being curious the child touches, tastes, hears, smells and sees everything available to him/her.  Having no witness (life experience) the baby is undisciplined and free to discover his/her body and environment.  
    The child's needs are all cared for by family.  With the help of mother, sucking produces food produces satisfaction.  The habit of sucking is formed.  Many habits are formed in the same way.   
    Children are given freedom within safe and convenient bounds.  For safety's sake the child is not allowed to chew on electrical cords.  For convenience sake the child must learn to sleep through the night.  For curiosity sake the child is allowed to chew all kinds of stuff that's not dangerous during the day.  Except for curiosity, family members (most often his mother) have complete authority over him.
    All the first words are understood basically.  Everything he is told he knows is absolutely true.  There is little contradiction in what he is told.  He has attitudes and behaviors and very few (if any) considerations.  When he asks questions he is given one answer and one rationale.  He has no need to consider.  His dominant attitude is to get what he wants.
    Broadly, the individual believes that everything he senses and hears is absolutely true.  What he knows is without consideration.  Because he does not consider alternatives he makes no judgment.  What he knows is before judgment; that is, pre-judgment; that is, prejudice.  It differs from grace in that it has the cause of hearing or sensing.  Grace is without cause while prejudice is with cause.   
    The child's next environment is the school.  The teacher establishes greater external discipline making the environment feel safe.  She is a new authority.
    Now there is a peer group of equals.  Being curious and safe, they are fun.   From the lips of a peer he hears a contradiction to one of his absolute truths.
    Somehow he becomes aware that it is a contradiction.  Being curious and aware, he considers (he thinks).  If the consideration lies outside his discipline, he chooses one view over another or expands his discipline.  He may choose to believe the peer as an authority or he may choose to believe a specific truth.  If the consideration is within his discipline, driven by his internal curiosity he continues to consider the accuracy of the authority and the specific truth.  This is the beginning of judgment.
    Practicing curiosity becomes consideration.  Through consideration he discovers that other people have different beliefs.  Through consideration he can put himself in their shoes.  If he tries to think like they think he not only considers their ideas but he may become considerate of the authority of others.  He may even become considerate of others.  This is beauty coming into being.
    But the maturation clock is ticking.  Beauty only gets a beginning.

The age of identity

    Along comes puberty and drives the child into becoming a girl or boy.
    It manifests as an obsessive compulsive behavior (sex drive).  Without discipline it would be an obsessive compulsive disorder.  He needs to know who he is.  He needs to know what he wants.  He must find an identity.
    To find his identity he tries on the identity of others.  One week your teenager dresses and behaves one way, in the next week another.  Considerations are resolved by arguments, some internal.  Advice to parents; when your teenager becomes unbearable be grateful you don't have to be one again.
    The burden of constant consideration forces judgments.  He chooses which rationales to believe.  Eventually boys and girls find themselves and what they want in a mate; they find their ego, an identity shaped by curiosity, maturation and environment.  It is an identity arrived at through consideration and judgment.
    The beast, the need to procreate, has come alive. The beast justifies his actions according to Nietzsche's, “if you have the power you have the right“.  But reward and punishment (external discipline) have shaped the beast.  If successful the beast is obedient to the more powerful yielding authoritative order.
    With the beast the fit of us survive.  There is selection before procreation.  The beast is the idiot who serves the id, his base taste, and, in its service, survives.   
    From the age of curiosity beauty, expressed as the need to relate, survives.
    From the balance between the need to have sex and the need to relate (beauty and the beast) comes love. Then time consuming family interrupts the investigation of the self.
    Some remain self centered and self absorbed, never surrendering to the need to relate (teenagers forever).

The age of family

    Families (with exception) have babies.  Then this happens.  You're running a little late, your wife calls and tells you she will not be home from work until late so that you have to buy some chips for a party that starts at eight.  You must pick up your son from soccer practice at six.  You must drop off your daughter for lacrosse practice at 5:45.  
    The functioning family has little time for much else.  Behavior is dominated by routine (habits).  Attitudes are fixed.  Consideration is disciplined because there is no time for new thoughts.
    The couples act out the roles learned from their culture during the age of identity including the highly time consuming roles of bread winning and child rearing.  They come to feel they belong with each other and their children in their defined roles in their defined society.
    In most families their beliefs remain fixed because they are busy raising their children.  Whatever authorities they respected they continue to respect.  It is an intellectually stagnant time.
    Some couples do not have children.  Some others do not find mates.  They find a substitute obsession.  Some become saints, politicians, pet owners, workaholics, alcoholics, sexaholics, over eaters, adventurers, et al.  Some may even become obsessed by discovery.  They play out the identity they have chosen.
    With or without children many people never leave the age of family.  Whether happy or sad with their life they choose to stay there forever.  100 years ago few people lived past the age of family.           
    Eventually the family is grown and/or the obsession is satisfied or climaxed.  There is time to think and consider and discover.  Sometimes there's a lot of consideration and sometimes just a little.

The age discovery

    What can you do with freedom?  You can reconsider.      
    The process of discovering, used throughout their life, is noticed, appreciated and used.  Everything from art to physical intimacy is rediscovered and reconsidered.  Everything is discovered to have an essence of beauty.  
    In contrast to the age of identity where you knew little to nothing, you now have a history of witness.  You see contradictions.  There are competing authorities.  There are competing rationales.  Rather than copying the conclusions of authorities, you think for yourself.
    It is a time of reconsideration, the time to look at your past and reflect on what you wish your future to be.
    For those that find it in their taste, appreciation of beauty and enlightenment are reestablished.  For those that find it in their taste, greed is established.  For most there is a new balance between beauty and the beast.
    Discipline is redistributed and/or reduced.  There is experimentation within new boundaries.  There is more variety of behavior.  Attitudes change.  Reconsideration creates doubt.  Doubt changes absolute truths to best guesses.
    Self judgments are made.  Unwanted obsessive compulsive behaviors are displaced, replaced, eliminated or disciplined.
    There are many results.  Divorces happen, not all bad.  New careers begin, not all good.  Midlife crisis happens, not all bad.  New religious convictions are discovered, not all good.
    The need for order leads to the need for discipline leads to the habit of doubting our doubts.  If we understand the process we can once again walk in another's shoes for in doubting our doubts we had to embrace another view.
    The need to make sense of the discoveries develops understanding.  Understanding turns discovery into knowledge.
    What else can you do with freedom?  There are things to see and do.  For as long as their bodies hold up memories can be built.  Old disciplines can prevail.  You need not reconsider.  You can skip the age of discovery.  Many do.

The age of knowledge

    If you live long enough and see enough things you believe you know things.  You do.  
    After witnessing years of rainfall, you know the water flows downhill.  After reading many books, you know the water flows to the ocean.  After teachers explain it to you, you understand the water cycle.  After giving respect to selected authorities you know that carbon dioxide emissions are having a bad effect on the water cycle even if you don't understand the arguments.  
    Some people learn and remember by organizing what they know.  They know a lot generally though they may be weak on specifics.  An organized memory makes them more efficient.  They take pride in what they know.  Their considerations become more disciplined to preserve their pride and their efficiency.
    Some people learn predominantly by rote rather than organization.  Because they practice little reconsideration their beliefs are strengthened during the age of knowledge.  After having copied the reasons of others what were prejudices become judgments.  They take pride in their learned arguments and judgments.  Their considerations become more disciplined to preserve their pride and help their memory.
    They incorporate knowledge into their lives.  With well bounded considerations, fixed attitudes and habitual behavior they feel pride when they share what they know with others.
    Eventually most people discover and acknowledge their own mistakes.  The belief in what they know is diminished.  They are humbled.  Humility turns knowledge into wisdom.
    Most people have some beliefs without doubt.  In these areas they never become wise, merely knowledgeable.
    There are those who never acknowledge error.  They have no humility.  Without humility they never become wise.
    
The age of wisdom

    With time comes understanding of knowledge born of finding errors in your own guesses.  Unlike knowledge, where there was a burden of disbelief to each opposing fact, with wisdom you can honestly extend the benefit of doubt.  Doubt changes faith into hope and prejudice into judgment.   
    Once you understand that knowledge is dependent upon yourself and gain tolerance for each individuals understanding of the same knowledge you become wise.   Wisdom requires understanding yourself and the world with doubt and respect.
    It is also possible to arrive at the age of wisdom without ever gaining knowledge.  Discovery can be so fulfilling the judgment is not necessary.  Hence there is always doubt and respect attached to every discovery.  
    Being considerate becomes more important as being right becomes less important.
    You begin to believe you have considered everything.  Life becomes boring.  You need new thoughts.  The boundaries of consideration need expanding.  But now the answers are unimportant.  Questions are everything.  
    Creating questions rather than answers turns wisdom into wonder.

The age of wonder

    After living long enough it becomes apparent that you can not know or control anything.  There is no choice but to trust in tomorrow.  The smaller you make yourself the easier it is.  The more peace in your heart, the more comfortable it is.  Without the need for fear there is no fear.  Finally without fear it is enough to wonder.
    Wonder is the reward of fearless curiosity.  I wonder what comes next.

Three kinds of truth; postulating order to belief.

    First, there is the truth with doubt.  It is called your best guess. This kind of truth is the source of most of the proposed principles.
    The strength of your conviction, the importance of that conviction and the relevance of the conviction determines whether it is worth mentioning in the game.  For example if we are talking about abortion, then when your church believes life begins needs stating.    Whether the icecaps are receding or not may be important but it is not relevant.  Who wins the World Series (to most of us) is unimportant.
    Then there are those weak convictions that give us so much trouble.  Assume your church has a position on the damage done to the woman who has an abortion (vs. the woman who gives her child way).  You agree predominately because you are in the church, yet you have much doubt.  It is important and it is relevant but your conviction is weak.  You have your best guess but it is too weak to fit the category of truth.  It is best to continue the consideration rather than declare that a weak conviction is a principle.
    Second, there is the agreed to truth.  It is called the common truth.  
    Every common truth is only true within the group that accepts it.  For example, a group that is debating abortion under the law may not agree that life begins at conception but they can agree that most prolifers found their position on the belief that sanctified life begins at conception.
    Third, there is the truth without doubt. It is called the absolute truth.
    As an example assume that you and I just shared a slice of apple pie.  We both agree that we just shared a slice of apple pie.  Because we agree, it is a common truth.  Because we have no doubt, it is an absolute common truth between us.
    Bob enters the room and asks us who ate the slice of apple pie?  We tell him.  The three of us have a common truth but Bob did not witness the eating and has a slight doubt (maybe he saw someone else eating a slice of apple pie and knows we are forgetful).   Common truth is enough.
    In some cases some feel the common truth is not enough.  They point out that there is something about the absolute nature of God.  A translation of the “Tao Te Ching, One “through “ten thousand things” agrees with this view;

One
“The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named is not the eternal name.
The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth.
The named is the mother of ten thousand things.
Ever desireless, one can see the mystery.
Ever desiring, one can see the manifestations.
These two spring from the same source but differ in name;...”

    My taste agrees with their taste and there are no words to describe it.  I do not deal with this Absolute truth.  I feel there is no need.  Herein lies the problem.

The trouble with the truth

    There is no universal common absolute truth because there is no one commonly accepted absolute authority.  There is no universal common truth because there exists mutually exclusive absolute truths.  Hence there is no universal dogma.
    This neither denies nor accepts universal absolute truth.  As already stated, I do not deal with universal absolute truth.  Reiterating, it does deny universal common absolute truth.

Illustrations of “truth”

    “If a person jumps off a 40-story building that is completely surrounded by a concrete parking lot without the support of aids (such as a parachute), then he will die. “  Is this a universal common truth?
    There is probably a person (maybe he lives in an institution) who believes that he will fly rather than die (maybe he believes in time of need his angel will save him).  Therefore, though it may be a broadly accepted common truth, it is not universal.
    I would point out that Galileo recanted from his outrageous lie that “the earth is round”.  Galileo was a minority of one and comparable to a man who thinks he can fly.  What has changed is that the size of the group believing Galileo’s truth has greatly increased in recent years.  
    A wealth of scientific “facts” falls into this category.  The size of the group believing determines the relative strength of the truth rather than the validity of the truth.  That remains a judgment of each individual.
    A second illustration believed by a majority of children.  “Santa Claus brings Christmas gifts. “  There probably was a Santa Claus, Saint Nicholas, who is credited with re-starting the fad of giving gifts at Christmas.  So there is a sense of truth in what most adults believe to be a literal lie.  Besides, the children may be correct and the adults have simply screwed up the whole matter.
    Those that know they may be wrong about everything know that some man might be able to fly and that the children might be right about Christmas.  Those that insist they know something can extend the benefit of doubt to children everywhere.

Once again, going back to the beginning; how do people come to know the truth?

    "We accept authority overcoming our doubt by doubting our doubts according to the instruction of authority and our need for discipline."   We choose authority according to our class progressing through the steps of life. Almost everyone forms the majority of their beliefs in this fourth way.

Influence within humanity; postulating an order to the strength of influence.

    We've looked at the parameters that shape each individual's beliefs.  Now we must put order to understanding how we influence each other.  
    Most people believe that some of their dogma is the universal dogma.  Conflicting dogmas (the messages) do not kill each other.  People (the messengers) kill each other.
    Whether political, ethical or religious, dogmatic demands to influence other groups (individuals) cause turmoil.  The level of influence is a parameter of the amount of turmoil generated by one group (individual) acting against another.
    It should be noted that turmoil is as often the precursor of understanding as it is the precursor of violence.

Conceal, expose, attract, promote, threaten, force, violate.
These are the levels of an individual’s influence upon others.

    To conceal your life.  The completely concealed person has no influence on others and is uninfluenced by other people.  Such a person is said to be cloistered.
    A cloistered monk who vows to be silent and live in isolation is the extreme of concealment.  More normally, people who do not answer questions or state their positions conceal themselves.
    When you answer questions you leave concealment and enter exposure.
    To expose your life.  You let people see how you live.  You answer questions with the purpose of being understood.  
    When you initiate talk you leave exposure and enter attraction.  
    To attract others.  You do or say some things with the purpose of gathering others to you.  You not only answer questions, you ask questions.  You state your beliefs without solicitation.  You try to make friends.
    When you talk with the purpose of convincing others to believe as you believe you leave attraction and enter promotion.
    To promote your choices.  You give rewards for alliances.  Whether it's candy or a bonus for a job well done, it shapes the behavior of another person.  Praise is often effective.  Praise backed by candy or a bonus is even more effective.
    You advertise your beliefs.  You speak of the advantages and rewards of your beliefs.  You speak of the disadvantages of opposing beliefs.
    When you talk with the purpose of making others afraid not to join your view, then you leave promotion and enter threat.
    To threaten others.  To speak of the fear of punishment is to threaten others.  Penal law is a threat.  Contracts with penalty clauses are a threat.  Holy books that promise damnation for nonconformity are a threat.  To demand conformity on the job is a threat.  To speak of awful consequences is a threat.  
    When the talk ends and the process to deliver conformity or punishment begins, then you leave threat and enter force.
    To force others.  Punishment induces discipline into the child (teaching" boundaries of behavior).  This "disciplining" is how other people (society) shape each individual's discipline.   
    To sue or prosecute is to force.  To fire from a job is to force.  To persecute is to force.  To restrict or confine is to force.  To physically abuse is to force.  To rape is to force.  
    When force fails and failure is unacceptable, then you leave force and enter violation.
    To violate others.  You kill the messenger.   You kill another human being.  You make war.
    The purpose of peacemaking conversation is fulfilled by an end to violation and the indiscriminate use of force.

Responses to influence

    Sometimes I choose my level of influence and sometimes the society chooses for me.
    When a decision is a response to exposure or attraction, then it is a free choice.  Sometimes a free choice is a response to an epiphany or to grace resulting from concealment.  It is beautiful.
    When a decision is not an individual choice, then it is placed upon an individual by another individual or society using promotion, threat, force and sometimes violation.  The decision is to obey authority.  It is of the beast.  
    In all cases a decision is a choice people make by accepting a discipline when consideration is judged an unwanted or unbearable burden.

Examples

    A free choice of a cloistered monk forsaking the unwanted temptation of worldly distraction for the sake of enlightenment is beautiful.  A free choice of a Muslim woman forsaking her influence for the sake of her husband’s is beautiful.
    Reality is seldom so pure.  The level of influence is usually a matter of the balance between beauty and the beast; a balance between freedom and obedience; a balance between civil liberties and general welfare.
    When we cloister our children we place a social discipline upon them.  It is not of their choosing.  It is a temporary measure legally ended by their adulthood.  Parents allege that it is for their children’s good.  The legality of it in the United States is a matter of law.
    When a man cloisters his wife he places a social discipline upon her.  He alleges that it is for the society’s good. The legality of it in Saudi Arabia is a matter of law.
    Both examples of cloistering are generally bounded by threat for the law seldom intervenes.
    A man robs a store in the United States.   After due process he is put into jail. The force of the state cloisters him.
    In Afghanistan a woman purposefully exposing her face would be killed.  So would a robber.  The state, being poor, has no time or money to spend on any process and solves the problem efficiently by killing.  Killing is a violation by the state.
    In the United States a serial killer after due process would be killed.  Killing is a violation by the state.  If the serial killer had been in England he would be cloistered in jail instead.
    Different cultures and different governments establish different levels of influence.  The process due is probably established by the level of affluence within the culture for with enough to go around we all want to protect our civil liberties.  The right to influence other countries is determined by the balance between the beast (if you have the power you have the right) and beauty (morality).
    Morality gone amok is dangerous.  View the crusades.  I would suggest that a humble morality would be more akin to peace on earth.  Let’s talk, not fight.  

Judging the importance of truth

    Every message comes with a messenger.  Each "truth" comes with the perspective of human judgment.  To play you must tolerate ideas and accept people.   

Tolerate the message, a player parameter

    Sometimes it is possible to extend the benefit of doubt.
    For example let us consider a non affirmed declaration.   It expresses a judgment of the truth.  This judgment is based on the messenger's witness, each witness of his or her own life.  If the messenger recognizes the possibility of a different conclusion based on a different experience, then frequently he can extend the benefit of doubt.  Contradiction to what you know with doubt is easy to tolerate.
    To tolerate another's absolute truth is more difficult.  However, sometimes some basic agreement can be found.
    For example consider the affirmed declaration, “The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao”.  By being nameless the meaning of the eternal Tao is exchanged by basic definition.   By recognizing the inadequacy of words we can transcend our individual witness and agree that what you mean when you say "God" and I mean when I say "Tao" might be common.  Though our individual witness is different we recognize a common attraction of "goodness".  We recognize that we might share some common feelings.  By understanding that we have common agreeable feelings difference in detail can be tolerated.
    To tolerate another's contradictory absolute truth is even more difficult.  
    For example consider "a leap of faith".  The leap puts reason aside in favor of a belief of pragmatic purpose.
    The person from the church of science says, "You cannot put reason aside".  You might ask where the person from the church of science acquired his belief in reason other than that he finds it pragmatically useful.  As an example you might ask the reason to conclude that time is linear and independent other than that it is a pragmatically useful assumption.
    When another player exposes an absolute belief that contradicts one of your absolute beliefs, you must establish agreement in principle; that is "I believe A and you believe not A".  Then you must bear the burden of giving an equal weight to the opposing belief.
    The result of toleration is understanding rather than agreement.  This is what it means to tolerate ideas.   
    
Accept the messenger, a player parameter

    "Judge not that ye not be judged".  Though this serves pragmatic purpose it is not enough to play the game of peacemaking conversation.  Rather, let grace be your motivation not to judge other people rather than the pragmatic purpose of not being judged.  This is what acceptance is.
    To accept people without reason (starting from nothing) is to be gracious.  To do this you must trust that the player believes what he says is true.  This is the way to accept other people.
    When you bear the burden of giving an equal weight to an opposing belief, then you accept the player who has that belief as equal.  You respect his beliefs.  This is what acceptance is.

Solutions

The Muslim solution, isolation

    If you find you cannot bear the burden of giving equal weight to an opposing absolute belief, then the Muslim solution is for you.
    It says in the Quran, the believers, “unbelievers, I do not serve what you worship, nor do you serve what I worship.  I shall never serve what you worship, nor will you ever serve what I worship.  You have your own religion, and I have mine.”     This ends any conflict before it begins by keeping the parties isolated.  
    I am not a purest.  I don't know anyone who is.  We choose which beliefs to cloister and which to share.  If there is a purest whose every declaration is an affirmation, the second church is not for him/her.  Yet the Muslim solution is.
    The Muslim solution creates no peace.  On the other hand it creates no war. It ceases working when the isolation is violated.  
    We live in a densely populated highly communicating world.  Isolation is nearly impossible to maintain.

An alternate solution, conversation

    I once believed in argument for the sake of truth.  Now I believe in conversation between accepting tolerant people of different churches for the sake of understanding.
    Argument has use within a fixed dogma of a specific church because it frequently arrives at a common truth within the dogma of the church.  Even argument between churches, though seldom establishing broad common belief, can establish some common rationales and rationalizations.  It has some use in understanding.
    Conversation has the advantage over argument because its purpose is understanding.  Comparing our dogmas can lead us to finding how our individual beliefs are the same and how they are different.  We can reduce our fear of each other by discovering and sharing our similarities.  This leads to accepting people whose judgments are different.  Right and wrong reduces to a matter of individual judgment rather than absolute judgment.
    I believe the conversation is best framed by using the dogma of the second church and the tools of peacemaking conversation.  
    My attitudes;
    Peacemaking conversation must be open conversation.  
    Speak the truth as you guess it and listen as it is guessed.  Declare what you know without judgment while affirming nothing.
    Talk of the message and never the messenger.  That is; accept people and tolerate their ideas.
    Play fair.  It is fair to call a killing a killing.  To call a killing a murder or a necessity is a judgment.
    Attempt to consider all that you can.  Never claim universal absolute truth.  Put exclusions aside.  Be dedicated to finding common ground.  Speak the useful truth, never the abusive truth.

How much to speak and when to stop speaking

    For the sake of peace on earth I will bear some burden and share my views with others who may have different views.  I will consider the views proposed that are outside my discipline.   Such conversation is not always peaceful yet its purpose is to make peace.  In these conversations only when consideration is an unbearable burden will I choose discipline.  
    Sacred cows, those judgments we have made sacred, abound!  When I find your sacred cow if (and only if) it is necessary for understanding will I speak my contrasting view once.  There will be no need to repeat it.
    Consider my belief that abortion is a good thing.  I do not wish to condone the opposing view by my silence.  I want the opposition to know my reasons.  If my loved ones need to express their reasons opposing abortion I will listen and try to understand.  I will expect them to listen to mine and try to understand in exchange.  However, telling my loved ones my view with the reasons for my view one time is sufficient for understanding our contrasting positions.  This failing, there is always hypocrisy.    

A third alternative, tolerance for hypocrisy

    A lie is an untruth told with the purpose of deception.  Bob tells a child that god created people.  Joe tells the same child that people evolved from monkeys.  Joe believes that Bob has told the child an untruth with the purpose of deceiving the child.  Bob believes that Joe has told the child an untruth with the purpose of deceiving the child.  Assuming that creation and evolution are mutually exclusive and important, either Bob or Joe has lied and the lie is significant.  Here is where we need hypocrisy.
    Hypocrisy is necessary when isolation has been put aside and conversation has taken place and the integrity of the messenger rather than the message has become the issue.
    There is always a messenger and that messenger may be a loved one.  With toleration for hypocrisy you get to keep the loved one.
    As previously stated by accepting people you must trust that the player believes what he says is true.  When you cannot do this; that is, when you believe that another person is telling a lie, than settle for hypocrisy.
    It helps to recognize the possibility that your beliefs may be so ingrained that you are the liar.  By recognizing that you may be lying to yourself you can recognize that the alleged hypocrite may be lying to himself.  This levels the playing field.
    When you cannot extend the benefit of doubt, that is when you cannot exclude yourself from being the hypocrite, you must carry the burden of your intolerance.  That is not to act on it.
    The value of hypocrisy is that it delays action.  By tolerating the hypocrisy, itself, both players can reduce their level of influence below threat.  This avoids threat, force and violation.
    This gives us the time to become tolerant.  Maybe hypocrisy gives us the time to reduce our own fear.
    It is easier to reduce your level of influence when not afraid.  At a reduced level of influence the need of fear is reduced and, hypocrisy aside, through conversation differences can be transcended and similarities can be discovered.

Click here to return to preface